I’m so angry. I used to be so excited by the idea of meeting someone and falling in love and the thing I was worried about was not doing that. Now nothing worries me more than that happening. No matter How perfect a relationship is, or how beautiful the things they say to me are, I’m never going to be able to believe it again. I’ll know that they can say it and really mean it, but that doesn’t mean anything because it can stop or change over night, or just not be enough. Now meeting someone is something that I dread because of how much pain goes along with it.
It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to be sad and have no control over. It’s not fair that the thought of having fun makes me sad. It’s not fair that memories that should be happy make me feel like someone punched me in the stomach and it’s not fair that I can’t see a couple holding hands, or the underground or the name of a song without wanting to cry.
I’ll be unhappy if I’m alone, because I know what it’s like not to be, but I’ll be unhappy if I’m with someone because even if it’s perfect, I’ll be terrified it’s going to go away. Either way, I can’t be happy and that is so unfair.
I don’t want this.
-T.B. LaBerge // Go Now (via awelltraveledwoman)
-Angelina Jolie (via onlinecounsellingcollege)